How to Deal with Bolshy People

Bolshy is a British informal word that describes someone who is often argumentative, defiant, and uncooperative. It can also be spelled as bolshie. The word comes from an abbreviation of Bolshevik, a member of a radical socialist party that seized power in Russia in 1917. However, bolshy does not necessarily imply any political affiliation or ideology. It is more commonly used to refer to someone’s personality or behavior.
Bolshy people can be challenging to deal with, especially in situations that require teamwork, cooperation, or compromise. They may resist authority, challenge rules, or create conflicts with others. They may also be stubborn, opinionated, or insensitive to other people’s feelings or needs. Here are some tips on how to handle bolshy people effectively:
- Don’t take it personally. Bolshy people may act aggressively or rudely, but it is usually not about you. They may have their own insecurities, frustrations, or issues that make them behave this way. Try not to let their negativity affect your mood or self-esteem.
- Stay calm and respectful. Bolshy people may try to provoke you or get a reaction out of you. Don’t fall into their trap and lose your temper or dignity. Instead, remain calm and polite, and avoid escalating the situation. Use a firm but respectful tone of voice, and avoid sarcasm, insults, or threats.
- Set boundaries and expectations. Bolshy people may not respect your time, space, or opinions. They may also try to take advantage of you or manipulate you. To prevent this, you need to set clear and reasonable boundaries and expectations with them. For example, you can tell them how much time you have for a conversation, what tasks you are responsible for, or what behavior you will not tolerate. Be consistent and assertive in enforcing your boundaries and expectations.
- Focus on facts and solutions. Bolshy people may argue with you over trivial or subjective matters, or blame you for things that are not your fault. To avoid getting into pointless debates or accusations, focus on facts and solutions instead of opinions and emotions. Use evidence and logic to support your points, and suggest constructive ways to resolve the issue.
- Seek help if needed. Bolshy people may be difficult to deal with on your own, especially if they are abusive, violent, or harmful to yourself or others. In such cases, you may need to seek help from someone else, such as a supervisor, a mediator, a counselor, or a friend. Don’t be afraid to ask for support or advice when dealing with bolshy people.
Bolshy people can be frustrating and exhausting to deal with, but they are not impossible to handle. By following these tips, you can cope with bolshy people more effectively and maintain your sanity and dignity.
Why are some people bolshy?
There is no definitive answer to why some people are bolshy, as different factors may contribute to their personality or behavior. Some possible reasons are:
- Genetics. Some people may inherit certain traits or tendencies that make them more prone to being bolshy, such as high levels of aggression, impulsivity, or dominance. These traits may have evolutionary advantages in some situations, such as survival or competition, but they may also cause problems in modern society.
- Environment. Some people may become bolshy as a result of their upbringing, education, or social influences. They may have learned to be bolshy from their parents, peers, or role models, or they may have developed bolshy behavior as a coping mechanism for stress, trauma, or abuse. They may also be influenced by the culture, norms, or values of their society.
- Personality. Some people may have personality types or styles that make them more likely to be bolshy, such as being assertive, confident, ambitious, or independent. These personality traits can be beneficial in some aspects of life, such as career or leadership, but they may also clash with other people’s personalities or expectations.
- Situation. Some people may act bolshy in certain situations or contexts, such as when they feel threatened, challenged, frustrated, or bored. They may use bolshy behavior as a way to express their emotions, defend their interests, or achieve their goals. They may also be affected by external factors, such as alcohol, drugs, or hormones.
How to be less bolshy?

If you are bolshy yourself and want to change your behavior, here are some tips on how to be less bolshy:
- Be aware of your bolshy tendencies. The first step to changing your behavior is to recognize and acknowledge your bolshy tendencies. You can do this by reflecting on your actions and reactions, and how they affect yourself and others. You can also ask for feedback from others, such as friends, family, or colleagues.
- Understand the root causes of your bolshy behavior. The next step is to understand why you are bolshy in the first place. You can do this by exploring the possible reasons behind your bolshy behavior, such as genetics, environment, personality, or situation. You can also seek professional help from a therapist or counselor if you have deeper issues that need to be addressed.
- Learn new ways of thinking and behaving. The final step is to learn new ways of thinking and behaving that are less bolshy and more cooperative and respectful. You can do this by adopting positive attitudes and values, such as empathy, compassion, humility, and gratitude. You can also practice new skills and strategies, such as communication, negotiation, compromise, and conflict resolution.
Being less bolshy does not mean being weak or passive. It means being more mature and responsible for your actions and relationships. By being less bolshy, you can improve your well-being and happiness, as well as the well-being and happiness of those around you.